Book - Relationships

Do you want more closeness, intimacy and emotional connection in your relationship? I did. So I spent seven years researching and writing a book for couples. The book I wish I had read when we were drifting apart.

Real couples - real stories

It is full of stories about my relationship with my husband, our ups and downs and ways through, as we struggled to come to terms with his post-viral chronic fatigue. I’m privileged to be able to also share stories of other couples, friends, clients. There is a sprinkling of science and exercises designed to bring you more understanding and closeness.

Why write a book?

My relationship with my husband, Peter, began 30 or so years ago. We fitted together easily so I confidently married my best friend. Life was good and we had our first child.

Post-viral chronic fatigue

After a viral infection Peter got sick - then post-viral chronic fatigue. Over the two decades we tried many things: cures, courses, diets, medications and more. Some helped for a while but his chronic fatigue returned, relentlessly.

Alone in our relationship

Things changed. I lost our relationship as I knew it. I also lost the joy, excitement and sense of fulfilling togetherness we had and I craved more meaning in my life. At times we drifted apart and I couldn’t find my way back to him. We didn’t interact as we once did, the chatting, laughs, drinking, lovemaking, our social life diminished. I felt disconnected, alone, separate from Peter because he was so absent.

I recall Peter saying versions of this, over and over:

‘I’m too tired. I blew myself out out this morning. I haven’t got anything left. I’m sorry.’

So, I got busier and busier trying to fill up my life with meaning. But it wasn’t the busy-ness I wanted; I wanted our relationship.

What helped…

We began to understand more. More about ourselves, about each other and our relationship. We learned more about his chronic fatigue and what helped:

  • Activities & foods to avoid

  • Environmental triggers

  • Supplements, dietary changes

In the past 25 plus years we also explored various experiential courses, some of them individually, others together:

  • Art Therapy, Conflict Resolution, Free Dance & The Transformation Game

  • The Power of Self Esteem and many, many more courses with the More To Life Programme including The Power of Purpose, The Power of Connection, Relationships, Making Money Count, Opening the Heart, Evolution of Mastery, Sixth Sense, Living Creatively

  • The Imago Couples weekend - Getting the Love You Want

I started up a business, we built a music studio and had our third child. Peter made an album then wrote a Rock opera set in a bed, ‘Bedlam’. Later I went on a photography retreat - ‘A Bit More Soul’

All the while I was learning more about what helped us become more loving, understanding and connected. I wanted other couples to have an opportunity to feel closer and be more connected.

I’m about to submit my manuscript to publishers. If I don't get picked up I will self-publish. So… watch this space!

Warm regards,

Moana